On the topic of friends
It is sad but I have forgotten what true friendship is like. It used to be so easy for me to make friends but now it seems like a long lost dream which would never ever happen. In high school years, I wasn't the most popular one or anything, but I had a lot of friends both in school and outside. I carried those friendships as long as I could. Being 7000 miles apart from them did eventually create a gap. Now I'm not in regular touch with anyone except one - who is too busy in her own life. Not that I blame her..
But the point is, I should be able to make friends now. As a family, we do have people we get together with on a semi-regular basis, but that's different. When we moved into this neighborhood, I really thought I had found that level of friendship again -- with two of my neighbors. But over the last one year it has turned out to be nothing but back biting and b!tching (excuse my language). I'm so tired of their attitude towards me and towards their own lives. I wonder why I even attempt to keep in touch - ya I know, it is because of DS. He is best-friends to the twin sons of one neighbor.
I have been thinking over the last few weeks - why are they so negative towards me specially? Why not towards each other (or it seems to me that way?) At first, there was the incident of going to a gem show together last year. Neighbor A - came up and asked Neighbor B and me to go with her. Ok, no problems. Only, she doesn't want to drive out there (I can't remember why), so I volunteered. This was in winter and the forecast said it was going to sleet and roads may be slippery. I have a Civic and I'm not comfortable driving around in snow or sleet. So I asked the other 2 to take over the driving and I'll pay for food or something. A said she didn't want to and she'll go with her DH instead of us. B and I asked if we can go with you guys and she refused! Yes, that should have been my first clue to limit my friendship. After this, I remember a lot of drama surrounding the gem show visit and A called me at work and screamed about B's bad habits on the phone. B's bad habits were something A was always bickering about, and that day I snapped and put the phone down. I don't deserve this crap. I was at work and didn't want to listen to her screaming. Fair? I think so.
A few weeks (months?) later, A patched things with me and being the stupid person I am, I fell for it. B was now not talking to A over something A had said to her. A had asked her to not bring her kids over to her house (yes, she did) because they were bad mannered. Remember, they were 2 years old then and I agree, they could use some supervision and B is too lazy to do anything. So B kept saying things to me about A that I never repeated to A because otherwise it would have caused a big drama. I always steered the conversation away from A.
At some point, A and B patched up. I had no problems until they had turned their negativity and their frustrations against me! Now I'm their enemy because not only do I *only* have one kid, I have plenty of time to do crafts, while they slog through their lives. Now remember, I am the one who works full-time. A is SAHM and B works part-time. B is always complaining about money because 3 kids take up so much of their resources. She was complaining about back to school shopping and I made the mistake of suggesting thrift-store. She got offended and said she has enough to not buy second-hand clothes for her kids. WTF?? Why are you complaining then?
While Girish was in Seattle, I took Mehul out in the neighborhood one day because he was getting bored at home. He hadn't had dinner yet and we usually do a bi-cycle round around the neighborhood in the evening. Because of A and B's past antics I didn't want to hang around them for too long and wanted to get home. They both started on how we've pampered Mehul that he doesn't eat by himself. First, the statement is WRONG. He does eat by himself although selectively. Second, it's none of their business. Third, unless they have had a picky eater, they can have no advice for me. I got out of there as soon as I could and cried at home. I haven't told Girish yet. I don't want to ever see these people again but being in the neighborhood, it's hard to avoid them. Specially because Mehul is friends with their kids. Goodness knows, we have tried getting him to eat by himself and he's getting better each day.
They're teaching me parenting? Girish and I have frequently had conversations where he says he had no idea on how much I did and how good I did it, until he met these two ladies. He says they're jealous of me and I agree. A's husband is the project manager in Girish's company and he was ready to interview me for a job that would have paid REALLY well -- double of what I make now and I don't make a tiny amount even now. And I refused. Because I didn't want to take away from family time. I think they're threatened by me.
Sorry for being so long and rambly. I need to get this off my chest. If you have any words of wisdom, I'll be happy to hear. There is a lot more I have to say but I have to go now as I'm late already.
